Do you often feel misaligned with your higher values and work goals?
Do you lash out and respond fast without thinking what you just said?
Do you get irritated, frustrated and angry easily, often treating people in a harsh way?
Do you often fail to gain insight and information to what your body is telling you?
In my previous corporate role it was not uncommon within our busy, yet buzzing office to hear and see emotional outbursts from the senior team when undertaking high pressure tasks, meeting budget deadlines, and dealing with staff issues. I would usually stand up, signal to my team to keep their heads down and slowly close my door. The negativity was toxic and energy draining, so I would avoid the change in the atmosphere by quietly resorting to my office for the day, or suddenly announce that I have many appointments on the road. Sometimes I would simply head to the local coffee shop to work and soak up a more positive vibe of coffee goers flocking in to gain their daily caffeine hit.
I would often drift and think about my team left to work in such a “bad vibe” environment. Many of them were accustomed to the behaviour and it was quite a normal event for them.
What makes a leader have the power to change the vibe so quickly? How does this behaviour serve them? (For it serves no-one else) Is this about gaining personal power? All this thinking led me into further study and interest in Emotional Intelligence. And just what did I learn?
Some great news! We can reverse this! We’re all required and able to work on our emotional healthy self-talk. Here are my top 5 Tips, which as a leader, I practice more regularly:
The “L” word.
Listen to your emotions and your intuition that can assist you to overcome challenges or success blockers.
Tap into your emotions
Name every emotion you’re feeling. Check in to your inner thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself the following “Why am I feeling like this?” questions:
- Why am I feeling angry? (e.g. It’s because I’m late for a meeting)
- Why am I feeling like this? I have disappointed myself and my work (Emotions involved: self doubt and lack of self esteem)
- Why am I feeling these emotions? I am now doubting my abilities – now you have addressed it, own it and change it.
Take the time to be introspective
Again, listen to the quiet inner voice, reflect on your core values, take a long walk, take deep breaths, and don’t try and squash or bottle up. Push down/away these emotions, they are there to serve you.
Mediate for at least 10 minutes a day, remain in the present moment to ground yourself. Join a meditation group or even easier, download an app (e.g The Mindfulness App)
Put your phone to good use
Call a like-minded friend who can ask you “feeling and emotion” questions and help you gain perspective.
Do you have any healthy self-talk tips you perform occasionally or daily? If you do, please feel free to share it in a comment below. For further insight, feel free to request a copy of my FREE actionable printable on Naming Your Emotions.
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