Being Resilient Is Your Choice. Are You a Victim or a Victor?
Through the years of working as a champion facilitator, I’ve found being resilient to be one of the chief qualities any good leader must possess. It’s the first thing I notice about someone when I get my chance to talk to them. I once thought that being resilient was something only a few humans possess. What I didn’t know was that it could be developed. Being resilient was more of a skill you can develop from countless encounters with problems that may not all be similarly challenging.
I spend a lot of time with very successful and intelligent leaders who are immersed in team building programs and courses I deliver. It’s always interesting to observe the levels of resilience when they become frustrated by tasks/obstacles and challenges.
Here are some of the things I’ve noticed during those activities that placed high on my observation chart:
People make assumptions about everything from what the other is thinking down to what they are doing outside of the group . It’s a common scenario where one may start thinking, “I bet Paul is talking about our team strategy”.
“I told you that wouldn’t work, it’s your problem now”
“We didn’t have enough time/money/resources for that too work”
“It’s impossible, can’t be done” (I love this one)
These are only some of the most common things people blame each other for.
“What if we can’t do it? We won’t get recognised! We won’t receive rewards and we’ll look like failures”
To push the envelope further, catastrophising turns the assumptions and the blame game from tiny, unnoticeable earthquakes into a devastating tsunami.
- Polarized thinking
It’s black or white, good or bad, there is no middle ground. This really hinders the success of many of my programs as leaders learn to shift from left brain (analytical) thinking to right brain (creative) mode.
On Negative Neds and Positive Paulas
We have all been in groups with the Negative Ned and wished we were buddied up with Positive Paula, who embraces the challenges and laughs as she stumbles and possibly fails. Negative Neds tend to ruin our path to being resilient, while Positive Paulas inspire us to take the journey further. Even if she fails, her personality is magnetic and easy to be with. Yes, you guessed it, she has built resilience to setbacks and the spirit to overcome adversity.
How you can be more like a Positive Paula?
- Sleep more
We can’t be resilient if we are tired, stressed and worn out. So take extra amounts of sleep daily. But if this isn’t possible to do on a daily basis, schedule times when you can take power naps. Once you’ve turned this into a habit, you won’t just be healthy physically, but mentally as well.
- Change your self-talk
We’re not telling you to go crazy! Self talk is very important for any individual who encounters stress on a daily basis. So basically, everyone should do it once in a while. Self talk has many benefits including a self esteem boost, problem solving within yourself, and even anxiety relief. Read more about self talk in a separate blog that discusses all about it here.
- See setbacks as temporary and disappointments as isolated
Here’s what you do to achieve this: Set a timeline to reflect over the matter and then get over it. I know, it’s not easy. Nothing really ever is easy. But you worrying about something creates another problem without you knowing it. Here are a few quotes to go by when you ever find yourself worrying:
“Worry is a down payment on a problem you may never have – Meyer”
“If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can be solved, worrying will do no good – Dalai Lama”
“99% of things you worry about may never happen – Anonymous”
“Don’t worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition – Abraham Lincoln”
“I’ve had a lot of worries in life, most of which never happened – Mark Twain”
- Seek support
Call a friend who has earned the right to hear your story and will serve as your Positive Paula. Someone who will not leave you to wallow in all your issues. Best of all, have a laugh with this friend or group of friends and move on!
- Seek the answer within yourself
If you feel like there’s no one you can entrust your worries to at the moment, practice self talk and try asking yourself these questions:
- What is the worst thing that can happen?
- Assess the possibility of this happening
- What is the one thing I can do to prevent this from occurring?
- What is the best thing that can happen?
- Be creative and wildly optimistic – What is the one thing I can do to make the best thing happen?
- What is the most likely thing that will happen? How will you handle this?
Now focus your time on 4, 5 & 6 and repeat this so it becomes your new self-talk.
Always remember, you control your thoughts and the power they have over you. Here is another useful quote to go by if you’re still feeling down:
“When you master your inner world, you will master your outer world – Jack Delosa”
To become resilient we need to understand our own thoughts, feelings and emotions and then we can make real positive changes and much happier and healthier you.
Do any of these resilient mindset tips sound familiar? If they do, please feel free to share it in a comment below. For more small business tips and tricks , please visit our blog today.